Big Mess!

ok so everything was fine a few hours ago...i was happily thinking about what i was gunna have for dinner. then about 5 minutes ago i started chatting to cath online. i think i made a huge mistake and i dont even know why. all i feel like doing right now is having a cry.

i've been away from school for 1 week. ONE WEEK and things just went down the toilet. apparently there is a rumour going around that i like Jes (Which i've already made quite clear that i dont) and she asked me who told me. i didnt want to tell her becuase i didnt think it was a good idea to get the person who told me involved.

which is fair enough becuase it's really got nothing to do with her...she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time...(either that or there is something that she's not telling me.) which isnt likely cos she's like one of my best friends. anyways...i told cath i didnt want to tell her and she went ape. she got really mad at me and i know that i probably shouldnt carte becuase of everything that's happened...but i do. i cant help it. i'm just one of those people who take everything personally.

well we atarted fighting. or rather she started fighting and got really mad...even though she told me that she wouldnt get mad at me unless i did something really bad. which i didnt really do....all i was doing was thinking of my other friend and now she's going to be dragged into it anyways. it's all just too much to think about atm...especially becuase of everything else that is happening.

well....all i can say is i'm such a stupid bitch...if it werent for me then she wouldnt be mad at me..if i had just told her to begin with...all i wanted to know was who said the first word about it...who was the first one to start the rumour... but now it's gunna get worse becuase i just know that something bad is gunna happen...i'm worried that everyone will get the wrong idea about me.

well i gottta go now...my brother just got here and i dont want him to find out about this stuff..

ciao!

~Jess~